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For my fourth birthday Grandma gave me leather cowboy chaps and a leather vest that she made. I couldn’t believe my nose or my eyes! The leather smelled so good and my eyes never saw a cowboy outfit just my size before. I excitedly tore off my clothes and tried on my new outfit. I then searched for and found my cowboy hat and my cowboy boots. I stare at my reflection in the television set that is turned off. I see Cowboy Dana on TV looking back at me. I run into the kitchen where Grandma is washing dishes. Looking for a second opinion, I excitedly ask, “I’m real, aren’t I Grandma?” She laughs and says with a big smile, “Oh boy! You sure are real!” Grandma knows real cowboys because she’s married to one. Now I know for sure that I’m a real cowboy like my Grandpa, not just a boy wearing a costume. I walk back to the TV again with confidence, to stare at Cowboy Dana again. I like the way I look. I see a real cowboy on the TV and it’s me! 
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Grandpa is a master storyteller. His has stories that keep visitors entertained through the day and into the wee hours of the night. The stories evoke tremendous laughter from all in earshot. As he tells a story, the sparkle in his eyes seems more pronounced and that’s when you know he’s truly enjoying himself. I wish I had a sparkle like that. I run to the bathroom to check the mirror, hoping that perhaps I have a sparkle in my eyes that I hadn’t noticed but I see no hint of one anywhere. I concentrate, flutter my eyes, roll my eyes, and stare in the mirror without blinking but nothing works. I hope that perhaps when I’m older and have stories of my own, a sparkle will settle down and make itself at home in at least one of my eyes. With no sparkle to be found anywhere, I turn my attention to my fantastic earlobes and smile. Well, at least I still got these babies!  My Aunt Connie read the words to the Cowboy Dan book so often that by age three, I knew them by heart. Aunt Connie was legally blind and one of the happiest and upbeat people that I knew.
For quite some time Connie was in the hospital more than she was out. She had a total of four brain surgeries as a child. This made her strong and stubborn. The doctors would send her home to die but she refused. Instead, she talks like a beatnik and lives with pizazz! Auntie Connie is my favorite baby sitter. She makes me feel like everything I say is funny or smart. We read and play games and tell stories. She likes to feel my face and tells me that she can see better with her hands than she can with her eyes. I wish I had a super power like that. She especially enjoys feeling my ears and goes on and on about my amazing ear lobes. I really hadn’t paid much attention to my ear lobes but the next time I am near a mirror, I took a closer look. I don’t see anything great or interesting or different about them. I shrug and take her word for it. If an ear lobe expert says I have nice ones, I have to believe her and add that to the things I can feel proud of. I often dreamed of winning the Publishers Clearing House, taking the $3,000 Mom promised to each of us, buying a storage shed, placing it in the backyard and living in it.
If the worse things in your life was being poor, then you’ve had a pretty nice life. No matter how desperate your situation is, there are always those who have it worse with the cruelties and injustices in the world too numerous to name. We saw the photographs of those less fortunate in the National Geographic magazines my Grandpa Hansen gave us. We were shocked to see the starving kids with bulging bellies full of want and despair. This knowledge may not change your situation but it may help you feel a little better. Not having money and moving all the time was a blessing in many ways. We were forced to be adaptable, resourceful and creative. It gave us an appreciation for things that most kids probably could never fully realize. I never felt entitled or that I deserved anything that I didn’t earn on my own. We wouldn’t have had nearly as many entertaining stories to tell from our adventures if we had all the latest and greatest things to occupy our time. In a sense, not having money gave us such a rich life. Dad picked a direction that he thought best and Mom made it work. Things could have been easier but they could not have been more interesting. |
AuthorDana Hansen Archives
October 2018
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